Week 10, Round 2

Ten weeks!  I counted and we have offically been on our own for 70 days--that seems like a lot, but when I still have no idea when Nathan might be coming home, it might not be all that much.  My friend Jessica's husband recently left to join Nathan in Afghanistan, and he will be gone for almost exactly 150 days (nothing is for sure with the Marine Corps).  So if we are lucky enough to pull off as short of a deployment as theirs, we are almost halfway through.  I will just have to keep my fingers crossed and say some prayers for now. 

On a side note, Nathan is moving bases to a better, more built up station.  I am hoping that in increase in communication will make the time away from him go smoother.  We were lucky enough to get a sketchy Skype session in this week, and it seemed to lift everyone's spirits.  And for those of you that might be sending Nathan a package sometime soon--hold off, his address will be changing. 
We had another great week, and I am hoping and praying that Lincoln's new attitude will continue.  Corinne was still a bit on edge with her teeth bothering her, but Lincoln was very tolerant of her bossiness.  He has been working hard to be her helper (sometimes to my disadvantage:  Me:  "No Lincoln, just ignore her.  She is not using manners and being mean."  Lincoln: "Give her letter cookies.  She is sad and it is the only thing that will make her feel better."  Me:  "She is screaming at me and she still has to finish her dinner."  Lincoln:  "I want to make her happy.", marches into the pantry to get the cookies.)  I appreciate his kindness and patience with his sister.  It seems like he is becoming more sensitive to the feelings of others lately, and is definitely a people pleaser.  I love the bond that they have and the love between them, but I hope they don't plot and gang up and Nathan and I as teenagers!

We started off our Thursday with a private speech class for Lincoln.  He is working on his "k" and "ch" sound right now.  Lincoln can make a good "k" sound instead of a "t" now, but it still comes out of the sides of his mouth.  His teacher has found that if he focuses on making it with a big mouth it comes out right.  He can also say "ouch" correctly, but not "chocolate".  So we have been practicing saying "ouch--olate" without the "owe". 

After speech we headed to swimming.  Lincoln had a substitute teacher and got to practice some new skills with her.  All he talks about lately is how Aunt Cary, Uncle Jason, and Caden are going to be neighbors soon, and that he will get to swim with Aunt Cary (a former swim coach) and learn new things. 

Corinne's class is getting bigger as summer approaches.  They stop at three kids, but the extra bodies in the water provide a larger distraction.  This week all three girls wore pink.  They looked like the Pink Ladies. 

We came home and Corinne took a good nap.  Lincoln and I worked on the yard--trimming, pruning, and fertilizing.  When Corinne woke up, they decided to play "surfer".

Lincoln paddled out on a few pavement waves.

Then Corinne decided she was going to be "Surfer Girl" from Soul Surfer.  No, I did not tell her to point her toe and pop her leg out like that.

She walked around the rest of the afternoon with one arm tucked into her swim top.

After a shower and dinner we made popcorn and watched Survivor together.  Corinne wasn't a huge fan, but Lincoln enjoys it. 

The next day we headed to Disneyland to meet up with Jenn, Warren, Hunter, Em, and Ben and Nick (Warren's brothers).  The kids were super excited to see some of their favorite people. 

Lincoln was thrilled to get in tons of "boy time" with the three brothers.  He also got to ride some of the thrill rides that he hasn't gotten to do when just the kids and I go because Corinne isn't tall enough to make the cut. 

After I rode Tower of Terror with all the guys, I stayed with the little kids so the big kids could ride the roller coaster.  Lincoln, Corinne, Hunter and I took a trip around the carousel.  Then we got in line to meet Jessie and Woody. 

Of course, Hunter peed on me while I changed his diaper.  You would think that I would know by now what to expect, but apparently it has been too long since Lincoln was in diapers for me to remember.  All three kids did great with being patient and staying calm while we waited.  We wrapped up the night with a trip back to their hotel room to snack and change into warmer clothes before the long drive home.  I am so thankful for the kids to get all that extra attention at the "Happiest Place on Earth"!  It was great to see everyone again and we all enjoyed our time together.  The one thing I didn't account for was Vegas traffic on the way home--despite leaving two hours after the rush.  I decided to pull into a McDonald's drive-thru to grab a coffee, and miraculously Corinne woke up from her sleep and asked for french fries.  I complied and got both of the kids a small fry.  Corinne snacked on a few and passed out.  Lincoln fell asleep with the container in his hands.  Two totally exhausted kids + one great day with friends =  one happy Mama.

We took the day Saturday to recover from our long day at Disney.  I had big plans to head to the grocery, but I woke up and found that my flat iron was toast.  So we made an emergency trip to the mall, and I finally invested in a nice one.  The kids were perfectly happy playing at the kids zone for an hour, so I let them burn off some energy and we put off our trip to the grocery unil the following day.

While Corinne napped, Lincoln got out his magnets and started expiramenting.  He had been playing with them earlier on Saturday morning, and I barely avoided a major disaster with him testing the magnets on the tv.  He did manage to suck them into the fire place shut off valve, which I fished out using a metal skewer.  After he saw me do it, he asked to play with the skewer and I told him no--it was too dangerous.  He pounced on the opportunity to get in some skewer playtime while Corinne was napping.  The next thing I know he has it stuck to the fridge, spinning it around, telling me that it is like a clock.  This boy is a genius!  My dad happened to call at that time, and Lincoln asked to talk to Grandpa Jinks.  He tells him that I am going to buy some number magnets to make it like a real clock.  I had said nothing of the sort, but he definitely got me thinking.

I thought sure, I bet I can find number magnets somewhere--afterall I had them as a kid.  But then again, they were probably choking hazards and hard to find these days.  So I dug out our dry erase board, found one of the spare keys Lincoln uses in his magnet expiraments, broke out the painters tape, and "Tada!" we had a clock!

I wish I could take full credit for this, but it was mostly Lincoln that sparked the idea.  I had planned on making a large paper clock for us to practice learning time on, but then he and I came up with this instead.  I like that I can erase the minute numbers if I need to so we can only focus on the hour numbers.  I also like that the long hand (the skewer wrapped in blue tape) matches the minute numbers so it reinforces the idea of which hand goes to what numbers.  Now we just have to learn to count by fives and Lincoln will be in the time telling business!

On Sunday, we hit up the early service for church and headed straight to the grocery afterwards.  The kids were very well behaved all day.  Lincoln and I got in some project time with cutting, gluing, and mazes while Corinne napped.  He also fixed my kitchen chair for me all by himself while I made lunch.  He ran to Nathan's tool box, found the alan wrenches, then put the nut and bolt back in place with a breeze.  I love that he is my little handy man.  It started to get cold again, so we finished up the night with a viewing of Pirates of the Caribbean while we snuggled up on the couch. 

We spent Monday morning doing mosaic projects with foam shapes (another stack of special stuff for Daddy).  Corinne decided she wanted a new sparkly kit that was advertised on the box to make tiaras.  We had extra shape pieces so we made a few crowns of our own out of the Cheerios box.  Then they played Sleeping Beauty.

Corinne danced about singing the song...."I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream..."

Then she threw herself on the floor and said, "I'm dead!".

Luckily Prince Philip was there to revive her.

Then we got a surprise Skype call from Dad.  It was great to see him again, even if the connection was sketchy.  Lincoln loved chatting with Dad about his light saber, and Corinne asked him if he could come live with us when he was done fighting the bad guys.

Monday evening I had the intial meeting with the psychologist to discuss my situation with Lincoln and how to go about parenting him.  At first it was hard to talk about because things have been going so well with Linc.  He seems to have found a new calmness and kindness about him.  He also is a more sensitive person, and has learned to be less rageful and more understanding.  Honestly, lately he has been an ideal child.  But after only a few minutes I found myself getting emotional talking about our situation.  Confronting the fact that Nathan is gone--for God knows how long, having limited communication, and no family in town really made me think about how most of the things I have had to deal with should be expected in our given situation.  She told me after just a few moments that, "I think I have the wrong patient--you are overwhelmed."  Sad that it took a psychologist to tell me what I already knew, but sort of refused to accept.  We talked a bit more about our life in general and some of our challenges.  I left the office with a second set of papers to fill out for myself when I am ready to schedule an appointment. 

If I had to do a self diagnosis, this is what I would say:

I was totally not prepared for this deployment emotionally. I went into it thinking it wasn't going to happen at all.  Nathan and I never went through the whole separation anxiety thing that we usually do. Christmas got in the way, then the visit from my parents and getting to talk to Nathan twice a day on the contractor's phone made it seem really unreal.  Lincoln no longer naps, so I have no time during the day just to myself.  Both of the kids compete for my attention.  I have trouble making time for myself a priority, and I feel guilty spending time away from them since one parent is already gone for so long.  I have a difficult time relaxing, and it is hard to spend money on myself.  To top it all off---I have a hard time asking for help.  Even when people offer, it is hard to make it a priority to schedule in "me" time because there are always so many more important things to do--like laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, etc.  The reality is that these things are not all that important. 

I am going to fill out the paperwork.  She said we will see how it goes. She may only need to see me a few times. Of course it is a tough pill to swallow, but not one that I was all too surprised to hear. Driving home I thought about a lot of things, and to be honest--and I am not trying to sound like a snob here, but this is sort of how my life has been:

My life has been ideal, if not perfect. I had two great parents growing up and a wonderful sister. We were not rich, but I was spoiled in attention and getting to do a lot of things.   I went to private schools, and excelled in sports and the classroom.   I had a lot of friends and a lot of fun.   I married the man of my dreams. We have traveled the world. We have two wonderful, beautiful, smart, healthy kids. We have a beautiful home in a dream location. We have met our fair share of stress from time to time, but we have always been able to handle it. We manage our money well.   I have always been able to go above and beyond when it comes to taking care of things whether it be making a move, making meals, planning playdates, getting the kids in activities, spending time with the kids, being crafty, etc. 

This is the first time when I have really felt like I might not be able to do it all. I can't be the man Lincoln needs me to be at times. And I have a hard time doing anything for ME. I think it is a bit of a reality check that my job right now is ridiculously demanding with two little ones and no real break. And to be honest, I have to do a self check of how dependent I am Nathan. Sure I can hold down the fort, but emotionally my other half is gone. I think one of the key factors Nathan brings to our marriage (and to everyone's life in general) is his ability to make me smile and laugh.  Even though I see Nathan so much in the kids, I still need that.   I need him to bring down my stress level at the end of the day.   I need him to tease me, to tell me I am a control freak and that I need to relax, to pull me onto the couch to watch a show because he is going to do the dishes in the morning, to give me "the look" when the kids do or say something hilarious--then we look at each other and think God they are awesome!   I need him to snuggle up with me at the end of the day. 

Basically, I have to admit that I am not Wonder Woman.  No one is perfect and when things don't go as planned, I have to adjust.  And adjust we will.  The past three weeks have been great with the kids.  We seem to have finally found our deployment groove.  Now I just need to learn some tools to "de-stress" and remember that I have A LOT to be thankful for--even when I am feeling overwhelmed.

Tuesday was cold, so I canceled a park playdate with Brittany and we hit up the local Fingerprints Museum in Hemet for some indoor fun with the kids.  I took my neighbor Margie along with her son CJ.  The kids had a blast at first.  The boys enjoyed climbing on the vehicles.

Corinne found a dress up room that we managed to miss on our first visit.

She carried the Cinderella dress around with her the rest of the day.

And then we all enjoyed a few pretend snacks in the playhouse.

The Children's Museum closes at 1700, but at 1530 the front desk worker walks (in her six-inch heels) back to the rest of the gallery and starts shaking her head complaining that the place was a mess.  At this point Brittany and I were the last people there with our kids.  Honestly, the whole place looked pretty picked up to me.  All the toys were in their respective rooms--maybe not in the exact place, but in the right area.  She started huffing and puffing about how this isn't fair to her to have to clean this up.  I asked if they were closing early today, and she said no.  We assured her that we had every intention to pick up before we leave, but the kids were still playing.  She went about cleaning and then proceeded to pick up all the toys that Corinne was playing with while saying, "You know what, this isn't fair to all the other people who pay to get in here either."  Corinne immediately starts crying yelling, "I just want to play!"  I swoop her up in my arms and assure her that she can play and remind the employee that our kids were not even playing with the things she is complaining about, but because we are the last people here, she feels like she can blame us.  Shortly afterwards we left.  I will never go back there again.  I paid just as much money as the next person to come play, and if she can't handle a few knocked over blocks in the block area--she should look into getting another job.  The kids were super shaken up about the incident and sad because, "That lady yelled at me!"

We came home, and I let the kids play "Library" with junk mail and a stamp set while I made dinner.  Then they headed straight to the tub before bed.

Wednesday is my chart-changing day.  (I know Sunday would make more since, but Wednesday happens to be the day we needed to start on.  Waiting four extra days to start a discipline/reward system didn't make much since either.)  Lincoln and I were both delighted to see a whole week's worth of gold dabloons, which he added to the five from the week before.  I gave him the rest of the day to decide on his treat.

In the early afternoon, I took off to Ikea with Jessica and Ava and Jake.  It was my first trip (crazy right) and so much fun.  I was bummed to find out that you have to be between 37-52 inches to qualify for the free hour of childcare.  So much for some "me" time!  Corinne reluctantly went along for the shopping trip while the other kids played in the kid zone.  I bribed her into happiness with a 99 cent pink, flower-shaped ice cube tray, and she perked up.  The good news is that I was able to snag a few things for my sister's dorm room next fall, and I now have a lifetime supply of tea candles--36 for $2.99.  (I bought four packages.  Party Lite, you have just lost a customer)  The bad news is that Corinne lost her sweatshirt somewhere in the store, and we never found it.  It might be gone forever, because I still have not gotten a call from customer service. 

After a long day of shopping we came home for an early dinner then headed back out to meet Linda for some Yogurt Factory--what Lincoln chose to buy with his gold dabloons.  We have not been for quite awhile, and the kids and I were ecstatic to find marshmallow as a new flavor.  Corinne was overly tired and fiesty, but Lincoln put up with her attitude.  When I threatened to put her in time out for screaming and not using manners, he told her to just rest on his lap. 

She gladly took to a little snuggle as he finished up the last few bites of his treat.

We came home and watched Kung Fu Panda 2 together on the couch before going to bed.
What better way to end our week than with a healthy serving of frozen yogurt with a side order of sibling love, followed by a good family flick and the fragrant scent of burning candles. 

QUOTES OF THE WEEK

Quote 1:  While wiping off Lincoln's face after a meal.
Lincoln:  "You have cracks in your eye becasue you're old!"
Thanks for pointing that out kiddo!

Quote 2:  While eating dinner.
Corinne:  "I had a chocolate poop at Em's yesterday.  It was NOT yummy."
She was referring to the explosions she had in Em's bathroom at the Disneyland Hotel.  Yes, much of my life revolves around poop talk.

Quote 3:  After Lincoln successfully fixed my kitchen chair that had lost a nut and bolt.
Lincoln:  "You break it.  I fix it."
So lucky to have a handy man around. 

Quote 4:  While in the car.
Corinne:  "I don't mooch baby jaguars becasue they will bite me on the finger and my dolphin tail.  I'm a dolphin you know."
Oh she has quite an imagination.

Quote 5:  While the kids were wrapping up dessert and I was doing laundry.
Corinne:  "I think I need to poop or something."
Me:  "Huh?  It is the 'or something' that I am worried about."  I run downstairs to unstrap her and get her to the bathroom where we discover her "or something".  Then Lincoln barges in.
Lincoln:  "I have to go potty.  Is she done son?"
I still don't know why we have problems sharing bathroom space.  There are two other toilets!

Quote 6:  As we walk out the door the morning after our trip to the museum.
Corinne:  "I don't like that mean lady at the museum.  She yelled at me."
Me:  "Me either.  We won't go back there."
Lincoln:  "She needs to go get a job at Sam's Club or something so she doesn't have to clean up or anything.  I think we should just arrest her.  Let's go lock her up in hand cuffs and throw her in jail for being mean.  I like that plan.  Let's do it!"
Not a bad plan--she was awful!