Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here

Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here

This should have been the sign posted outside our local Super Wal-Mart today!
Okay, I get the simple equation---
major discount chain + equal opportunity employment + employees getting paid minimum wage= slightly incompetent customer service + lower prices

I was appalled during my check out experience at Wal-Mart today. I literally was ready to jump over the checkout counter and take over myself.

As such, I have come up with a list that compiles my lovely experience this morning. Thank God my mother-in-law was there to rescue the kids and put them in another cart to "take them for a ride" around the store. (I did not make any of this up--my cashier was just "that dumb".)

TOP TEN REASONS YOU KNOW YOU CHOSE THE WRONG CHECKOUT LINE AT SUPER WAL-MART

10. Oh, no!---A manager is called over for assistance to help the person in front of you.
9. You notice the guy reaching down the counter to grab the next grocery for the lady in front of you because he doesn't realize it is a conveyor belt.
8. Despite having bar code readers at almost every angle so that items can literally be thrown across the counter and into the bag, your cashier picks up and examines every item looking for a bar code and then proceeds to wave it directly over the laser "X" and still manages to miss the "ding" sound.
7. Your checker appears to have been collecting social security....for the past 20 years.
6. After picking up your WIC check and folder that is neatly grouped with your milk, bread, and juice, he asks you "Is this your payday loan???" WTF
5. After scanning your first WIC check, he picks up the Father's Day cards in the stack and asks "Is this WIC too?"
4. You have to open all the bags on the turnstile for your checker because he can't figure out how to un-stick the first bag from the one behind it!
3. He then proceeds to pack your juice on top of your oreos!
2. He picks up a bundle of garlic and asks "Is this garlic?" (No you idiot, it's a watermelon that I am trying to disguise as garlic so that I can only pay pennies on the pound! Yes it is f-ing garlic)
1. He grabs your bananas and after frivolous search for a bar code without luck decides to swing them across the bar code reader in every direction until you finally inform him that "They are bananas and sold by the pound. They need weighed!"

Needless to say, it took me longer to check out than it did to do all my shopping (which included the timely task of choosing 5 cards to send out for upcoming holidays and special occasions) and take a toddler to the bathroom.

Next time, I think I would rather pay more and get an hour of my life back!